Having help hundreds of families preparing for divorce since our Family Divorce Consumer Advocacy was formed in 2010, five relational afflictions have consistently surfaced.
1-Domestic Violence-as defined by one or more of the following behaviors: hitting, slapping, punching, choking, kicking, pushing, shoving or spitting on spouse; threatens or scares them with a weapon; forces or coerces them to have sex when they don’t want to; threatens to take away their children; blames them for his/her violent behavior; withholds affection as punishment; takes away their money, house keys or car keys; keeps them from seeking medical attention; says that they deserve to be hit; tries to isolate them from their family and friends
2-Chronic Infidelity of a Spouse or Both Partners-
3–Addiction- which can take many forms beyond drugs and alcohol including sexual behaviors (from pornography to acting out), gambling, overspending
4-Financial Irresponsibility of a Spouse or Both Partners- overspending, hoarding money, not sharing family funds, not sharing family finance information, chronic loss of employment or long term unemployment
5-Emotional/Mental Abuse verbal and physical behaviors toward a spouse with the intent to hurt, control or manipulate them into doing what the Abuser wants
When one or more of these issues is an element in an intimate relationship it is a clear sign that the partners need to be pro-active in addressing them before they reach crisis status.
I personally am an advocate of the benefits of individual therapy with a licensed professional and support groups targeted to the issue at hand. Many marriages can survive even the worst challenges if both partners truly love each other and both partners put in the effort and time to seek the proper help.
One word of wisdom however, when Abuse (either physical or emotional) is present, separate counseling for the individuals is always advised, as traditional “couples therapy” is often used by an Abuser as an additional vehicle to wound.
Do you have a personal story that you can share regarding these issues? I would love to hear from you. If you are considering divorce, please use our Transitions Divorce Prep Manual available on Amazon here: http://amzn.to/1xfc9lV
Please follow us on Face Book: http://on.fb.me/1HaExtN
And Twitter: https://twitter.com/DivorceWorkbook
Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR. Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
Disclaimer: This is my personal blog. The opinions I express here do not necessarily represent those of my organization, Transitions Resource, LLC. The information I provide is on an as-is basis. I make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, suitability, or validity of any information on this blog and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries, or damages arising from its use.